To Bind
by spacebarista
Summary: Shannon Shepard needs help finishing her nightly routine. To her surprise, Kaidan's more than able to.


FIRST OFFICIAL ME FIC WOOOOOO!

Anyway, I toyed with this idea while tossing headcanons around with one of my RP partners. ShanShep is a WOC, you can see some of the pics we've made here. Her FC is Nicole Beharie, if that also helps. I'm still trying to write description well (I am not a WOC but I felt there was a lack of in the MERP community) so if anyone has any tips, critiques, or anything, feel free to let me know! My tumblr url, if you should want to find me to share ideas or anything, is xoalenko.

That all out of the way, enjoy!

* * *

A growl of frustration fills the quiet cabin. Pain mingles in the sound as well. Alone in the room, she allows herself a small whimper, wilting on the edge of the bed. Shannon Shepard tries not to let the tiny things push her. But she's exhausted, worn out from the mission of the day. With so many worlds burning, it's hard to keep recovering. There's always more to do, always people to help. She barely has time to heal and rest before she's on the ground again. She's more worried about her crew, though. More worried about…

 _Kaidan_. He's doing well, considering. Hell, he looks better, _stronger_ than he had on the SR-1 as a younger man. The confidence surely has a hand in it. But she worries about his implant, how it's affecting him. Mars had not been kind to the Major. Though he's awake, upright, and back to his terrible jokes, though the horrible bruises that had marred his face have long since faded… He's slower in the mornings. His occasional migraines seem worse, and his biotics tire him out faster. Shannon's certain it's less about his age and closer to damage to his implant. _God… please let him be recovering, not degrading_.

The Commander takes a deep breath and tries to reach behind her head again. All she wants to do is curl against Kaidan the second he returns and sleep. She wants to leech off his warmth, nuzzle his jaw as he wraps his arms around her. But she has to do this first.

When Shannon had been in training and on the SR-1, she'd always been able to find another woman to help her do this when she was injured or generally achy. Kelly Chambers had been gracious enough to perform the service on the SR-2. But now… Commander Shepard has to appear strong. Even when her shoulders ache so bad she can barely lift her arms. She holds back a sob at another failure, dropping her arms in defeat. Of course, this one simple thing is what brings her to her knees, as it were.

"Everything alright, Shan?"

Her dark head snaps up, eyes wide. She relaxes at the sight of Kaidan Alenko. Her heart rate, however, stubbornly refuses to decrease. His hair is still shower-damp, his fresh uniform clean of the dust and blood of the mission. He has a fresh cut on his forehead—courtesy of shrapnel— but otherwise he seems just fine. Damn him. Her brown eyes land on the steaming mug in his hand, and he holds it higher.

"Hot chocolate," Kaidan reveals, stepping down the stairs and closer to her. "For you—" she reaches for the mug. He pulls it out of reach, grin lighting his handsome face. " _After_ you tell me what's wrong." His tone is stern despite his expression. She responds with a loud groan.

"Kaidan," she grumbles, mock scowling at him. "You _promised_."

He nods. "I did. But something's wrong. And as your boyfriend, I'd like to know so I can help." He scratches at his jaw, eyes rolling to the ceiling, expression thoughtful. "I _could_ order you to tell me, Commander…"

"No, no. I'll tell you."

Kaidan smiles in that obnoxiously sexy way that screams of pride. "Good girl. Now…" His voice lowers as he steps up to her, tips her chin up with a large, warm hand. His thumb brushes over her lip. "Talk to me, Shepard."

"I—" Shannon bites her lip. It… it sounds so _stupid_ when she thinks about it. There are actual problems. People _dying_ across the galaxy. But it's part of her routine. It's how the Great Commander Shepard winds down. She needs it if she's ever going to relax. She looks into Kaidan's steady bright brown eyes. And she forgets her fear. "I can't braid my hair."

He pauses. Blinks. Shannon's always liked how confusion looks on him. He looks about fifteen years younger. His mouth opens and closes. Finally, a laugh escapes him. It's small, but enough to make Shannon herself blink.

"That's _it_?"

Shannon pauses, torn between embarrassment and annoyance. Kaidan must see something in her face—which has heated up to reflect her emotions—because any amusement in his expression disappears. She can almost taste the apology on his lips. So she speaks first, Stops it.

"I _need_ to braid my hair, Kaidan." It comes out shaky. More pleading than she intends.

Kaidan's eyes widen almost comically.

"Oh, _God,_ Shepard— _no_ , honey. I, I only—I meant…"

He sputters for a few moments. Shannon almost laughs. Almost. It's more fun to torture him. And she's still unsure of how she feels about his reaction. The stuttering is cute, though. He finally sighs, rubs his eyes with his free hand.

"Look, just," he breathes out and presses the warm mug into Shannon's dark hands. "Stand up for a second, okay?"

The Commander raises an eyebrow, but complies. She lingers by the fishtank and sips at the thick drink Kaidan makes so well. Her eyes follow him as he retrieves the chair from her desk and puts it at the foot of her bed, facing her model ships. She takes in the biotic lowering the seat meticulously. He's eyeing her as he does. He sits behind the chair, brackets it with thighs. Sending a gentle smile her way, he pats the seat.

"Have a seat, Commander."

She does, slowly. Cautiously. She's not sure what he's up to. Shannon's certain he won't mess with her. Not after already upsetting her. He sighs. She can hear his fingers tap-tapping on his thighs. What is he waiting for? What is he up to?

Two sets of fingers card through her hair, short nails trailing against her scalp. Shannon shudders and sighs. She lets herself relax against the back of the chair, close to the warmth of his chest. Shannon closes her eyes. She always loves Kaidan's hands in her hair. More often than not, it's _her_ fingers in his thick, dark hair, soft despite whatever he does to keep it so perfect. But the few moments where Kaidan does have those large fingers in her hair… she lives for them and the tingles they give her.

Those tingles warm her better than the hot chocolate he'd brought her. She sips at it as Kaidan works at her hair, rubs her head lightly. She still has no idea what her lover is up to. But she won't complain. It's _nice_. Affectionate. There's nothing she loves more than her Major being his usual affectionate self. Making them feel… _normal_.

Soon, she recognizes what he's doing as his gentle hands move towards the crown of her head. He gathers three chunks of hair and… starts _braiding_. Major Kaidan Alenko: second human Spectre, strongest Alliance biotic, first and only human biotic who can Reave, her boyfriend… _is_ _French braiding her hair._ She smiles into her mug.

"Kaidan, are you—"

"Shh, love," he stops her, pausing to kiss the back of her head. "It's been a while. I have to concentrate. Ask me when I'm done."

Despite her curiosity, Shannon goes quiet. She lets Kaidan work. It's her pleasure, really. He's gentle; never pulling too hard, keeping firm in a way that still feels comfortable. The only sounds in her cabin are the hamster running in his wheel, the bubbling of the fish tank, the occasional slurp of her drinking, and their soft, steady breathing. She feels his breath ghost against the nape of her neck with every exhale.

Kaidan takes his time. She knows he can be patient. It comes with his age and experiences. Becoming a teacher probably had a bit to do with it too. But before that, back on the SR-1, he had always performed every task meticulously and with impressive concentration. It easily translates into his lovemaking. The thought brings a smile to her face. Not tonight. ASAP.

Shannon's almost lulled to sleep by the time he's finished. The quiet, his rhythmic breathing, his gentle touch, the warm hot chocolate in her stomach… She could fall asleep right now and be perfectly content. But Kaidan taps her shoulder and kisses the side of her head.

"Hair tie?"

She dutifully hands him the elastic on her wrist. "So. Can I ask?"

"Sure."

"How does the great Major Alenko know how to French braid?"

Kaidan goes quiet, his hand falling to the crook of her neck. His thumb brushes over the skin near her hairline. Where a biotic implant would be. It clicks into place for Shannon then. She's sure she stiffens under his hand, and he's sure to have noticed.

"Jump Zero," he finally mutters, easily heard in the quiet of the Loft. "I learned to help some of the girls." _To help Rahna_ goes unsaid, but Shannon knows. Kaidan probably _did_ learn to help female cadets. It came with the added bonus of helping his friend.

Shannon opens and closes her mouth, searching for a way to comfort her love, to bring him back to her. "Kaidan—" she gets out, moments from turning to him. But he stops her, brushing the braid to the side and kissing the back of her neck.

"There. Now go take a look so I can get ready for bed." He punctuates the gentle command with a small shove of her chair. The Commander huffs. Rising from the chair, she rounds it and turns to him. He gazes up at her, eyes bright and loving, a small grin lighting up his face. She gathers his collar into her small hand and bends, pulling Kaidan up to meet her. The kiss is languid and loving. _God_ … how long has it been since that day when they stood on opposite ends of their pistols? How could they have gotten themselves in that position, when they could also be here? Shannon breaks the kiss with a hum, resting her forehead against his. It's okay. They're here. A breath of laughter escapes his nose. He smiles up at her. " _Go_ , Shannon. You look about ready to pass out."

"Fine," she concedes. "But be in bed by the time I get back, Major."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

Shannon kisses his forehead and pivots to head up to their bathroom. She doesn't even look in the mirror. Not yet. She fills Kaidan's mug with hot water. There's no chance she'll clean it until morning. Not with Kaidan waiting for her. Her eyes, a darker brown than her boyfriend's, rove up to the mirror.

 _Wow_.

She turns her head from side to side. Only her shortest hair is out of place. From the short tail draped over her shoulder, she can see it's mostly even. Clean. _Perfect_. She expects nothing less from Kaidan. She's smiling at her reflection. Taking one last look, Shannon brushes the shorter hair behind her ears and steps back out into the Loft.

He's stripped down to his briefs—as per usual—typing on his omni-tool, the orange light casting his back in shadow, allowing her to admire the cut of him. He's never concerned about someone walking in. About one of her crew seeing him mostly naked in the Commander's bed. _"They know where I sleep, Shan,"_ he'd laughed one night. _"They know why."_ Shannon grins as she wiggles out of—his— _her_ sweatpants. She hugs her near-naked biotic from behind. His warmth seeps into her aching muscles.

"I _thought_ we were going to bed, Major," she singsongs, pressing kisses to the valley between his shoulders.

"We are. I'm just getting some last-minute things down. How's my handiwork?"

"Perfect." She rests her cheek on his warm skin, listens to him breathe. "Must be like riding a bike."

"Something like that," he agrees. Kaidan finally shuts down his omni-tool, turns in her grip. Strong arms wrap around her shoulders as he kisses Shannon's hair. "C'mon. Bed."

When they're both in the blessed comfort of her large bed, Shannon curls into Kaidan's side, nestling her head under his chin. He trails his fingertips up and down her back through her tank top. The couple lies in virtual silence. The music of each other's breathing is the only sound they can really hear. An idea comes to her then, as she leeches off his warmth.

"Kaidan," she starts, words and possibilities running through her head. Which should she choose? "You know… Now, when you do that… you can think of me. If you want."

 _Instead of Rahna_ goes unsaid.

He hums. She hears and feels it through his solid chest. "I've already thought about it, Shannon."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah," he sighs. He goes quiet again. So quiet that Shannon starts to think he's sleeping. She closes her own eyes, pairs her breathing with his. Meditates to the sound of his heart beating. If anyone were to ask, it's moments like this that she'd say are her favorite with Kaidan. Probably. Then Kaidan snorts lightly, breaking her reverie. She tilts her head to look up at him. He's smiling up at the viewport, beautiful in the glow of the mass effect fields. Almost like when he's using his biotics.

"I love you, Shannon," he breathes, eyes shifting to meet hers. She smiles. She's never used to hearing him say it. She's missed him _so_ much.

"Oh, yeah?"

" _Hell_ yeah."

"Good. I love you, too. For the record." She snuggles back into him, enjoying the vibration of his chest as he chuckles. "And Kaidan?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"You can braid my hair any time. _Every_ night, even."

Kaidan laughs, nuzzles her hair. "Heard loud and clear, ma'am. I'll even rub those shoulders as long as they're giving you trouble."

Shannon smiles into his skin. She presses one last kiss to his chest.

"Good night, Kaidan."

"Good night, Shepard."

So… _maybe_ he's degrading. Maybe they'll die tomorrow and it won't matter. It won't matter if she's achy or can't braid her hair. It won't matter that they could have shot each other. It won't matter if she loves Kaidan. If he loves her. But… he does. And she wants more of this. Of them. She's already fighting like hell for the galaxy. But she'll do it for this. For him. For them. Hell, even for _her_.

But _especially_ for this.


End file.
